


Skank-speare

by MiddleNameIgnominy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Crack, M/M, Oral Sex, References to Shakespeare, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-11
Updated: 2019-02-11
Packaged: 2019-10-26 07:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17741249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiddleNameIgnominy/pseuds/MiddleNameIgnominy
Summary: Instead of catching the Lying Disease, Nagito catches the Shakespeare Disease.





	Skank-speare

**Author's Note:**

> About half of the lines of dialogue are actual Shakespeare quotes btw. Enjoy!

When Hajime entered the hotel restaurant, he was met with the sight of Akane bawling her eyes out. Unsure of how to respond, he tried to talk to Nagito. But, for whatever reason, Nagito wouldn't say anything to anyone. He just stood silently, looking sort of embarrassed. A few moments later, Monokuma revealed that certain classmates had despair diseases. He mentioned that Nagito had a disease, but he didn't mention which one it was. The day continued on chaotically and ended with Hajime and several other people staying in the hospital for the night. Hajime woke up with a start, inhaling sharply and eyes shooting open. Wait, when did he fall asleep? He hadn't been able to sleep for the past few days so it was nice that he was finally able to get some shuteye, he supposed. Though, his body felt oddly heavy. That's when he realized that Nagito was straddling his thighs! What's more, he had that same shy blush that he had on all throughout the day. He found himself thinking this situation was kind of sexy before he could smother the thought.

"Nagito!" Hajime yelped

Nagito gently pressed a slender finger to Hajime's lips. "Sshh. Shut thy mouth, for I have a confession."

Hajime's breath hitched. Did he just say "thy"?

"Thou knowest I have contracted a Disease of Despair, correct?"

Hajime nodded, a blush forming on his cheeks. This whole situation... it couldn't be what he was thinking, could it?

"Methinks that my disease... is that of the Shakespearean dialect."

Hajime stifles a moan. It IS what he thought it was; Nagito was inadvertently indulging him in his Shakespeare kink! His pants tightened and he hoped the other man wouldn't notice.

"I express this to thee because I trust in thee." Nagito continued, beginning to climb off of Hajime. "To freely share my plight with thou, I feel-" Both men freeze as Nagito accidentally grazes Hajime's raging erection. Nagito turns his attention towards it. "...Is this a phallus which I see before me?" Hajime's face burned with embarrassment as Nagito pulls down his pants, fully exposing his straining manhood. "Behold, t'is!" Nagito brought the hard penor into his mouth.

"W-wait!" Hajime stuttered, pushing Nagito off of his large pecker. "I'm not going to catch the disease if we have sex, am I?"

Nagito sighed, "The man doth protest too much, methinks." Thusly, he returned to sucking the other man's overextended peepee. Within a few minutes, Hajime was very close. He managed to coherently communicate this despite the distracting pleasure coursing through his veins. Nagito pulled off for a split second to say, "Shall thou release thy seed unto mine face, or within mine chops?"

"Within thine chops, I guess."

Soon, the most powerful orgasm imaginable wracked Hajime's body and had him screaming in euphoria. Nagito swallowed everything.

After coming down from his high, Hajime broke the silence. "A proposal have I." he started, realizing with horror that he had contracted the Shakespeare Disease, "Shall we engage in... the hurlyburly?"

"Don't tempt a desperate man." Nagito spat.

"I kid not." Hajime stated firmly. Nagito looked at him incredulously before smirking, nodding, and pulling his pants down, revealing his big chungus. Hajime gulped nervously.

Nagito lined himself up with Hajime's massive dongle and shouted, "Oh happy dagger! This is thy sheath." He sank onto the other man's sizable member, taking his maidenhead. Both men moaned so loud they were practically screaming. "This is the very ecstasy of love!" Nagito cried. Nagito bounced vigorously on Hajime's monstrous meat, creating a tempest of obscenity the likes of which the mortal realm had never before witnessed.

As the two of them drew close to their orgasms, Nagito paused. "As good luck would have it, I think someone is approaching." Just then, Fuyuhiko burst through the door. "That it should come to this!" he exclaimed.

"O fuck." Hajime said.

"I canst explain!" Nagito shouted shakily, panicking.

"Explain?! Thou wert stepping o'er the bounds of modesty whilst I carried out mine responsibilities!"

"Nay!"

"Do you think I am easier played on than a pipe?! I know that which I saw!"

"Alas," Nagito said, dressing himself, "you hath kill'd the mood."

"I care not." Fuyuhiko said, "you two need to halt your endeavor so that I might sleep."

"Perhaps." Nagito said. He turned to Hajime and said "Soon I will go, but parting is such a sweet sorrow, that I should say goodnight till it be morrow. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? But thou art more-"

"Canst thou not?" Fuyuhiko asked, annoyed.

Nagito sighed. "I shall take my leave. Goodbye, Hajime."

Exit Nagito and Fuyuhiko.

Hajime stared at the ceiling, dazed and emotionally drained. This was undoubtedly the single most amazing experience of his life. He would never forget this. He later went on to start a sex cult about Shakespeare.

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> I've done it. I've created an assault on the senses of all Shakespeare fans. My work here is done.


End file.
